Why Marry & Why Wait?

(audio sermon by Gary Sampson)

Many people now days are questioning the institution of marriage and questioning if waiting till one’s wedding day for sex is really helpful. This sermon attempts to answer both questions.

Speakers notes follow –

Why Marry and Why Wait?

1 Co 7.1-9/36-38 – Brief: Paul advocates marriage as solution to sexual desire – urges married couples to be sexually active – assumes the never married are virgins – tells virgins to be free to marry or stay single

Why marry?

Asked a lot in secular society – why sign piece of paper? Just love? Beatles – ‘all you need is love, love is all you need’

Single people here may ask too – some go so far as to say its ancient law and Christ set us free from law

Did Christ set us free from the need to marry?

Did Christ set us free from all law? Need to stop at traffic light / pay our taxes? Obviously must – So not all law. But which law?

Jesus came to ‘fulfill’ the law – his sacrifice ended all animal sacrifice – fulfilled passover – explained how a descendant of David rules forever – ie. Jewish law/Moses law.

Was marriage from Moses law? If so could argue we’re free of it? No – marriage is covenant – covenants before Moses – eg. God’s covenant with Abraham – natural covenant with Adam –  law from covenant, not covenant from law.

Christ doesn’t abolish covenants – frees from Old – institutes New – in his blood – he & church are Groom and Bride – Paul continues to teach on marriage

Covenant is in nature of God – God’s covenant with Adam at beginning is natural – stemmed from covenant relationships in Trinity

Bottom line – marriage before Moses – for all time

Does marriage make sense?

Secular world asks – affects our singles (Switch: Bible teaching to apologetics)

See big picturenot does it work for you, but would it work if none married? How would society look ?

There would be a lot of single parents – men would enjoy and disappear – patch-up laws to hold responsible – lots of orphans, both parents disappear – lots of abortions – Is this a healthy society? No! Dis-functional!

Marriage covenant about mother, father, kids, together, committed, sharing all. This the healthy state – Presidents have said the strength of a nation is the family unit

A person avoiding covenant is avoiding commitment – the person that avoids commitment doesn’t love – love gives unreservedly and unconditionally‘laying down your life for a friend’ – that’s making covenant – that’s the foundation for family

So does marriage make sense – yes the only way and God’s way

Why wait? – referring to sex

Again first what scripture says?

Paul: unmarried are virgins – sex outside marriage immoral/perversion – intercourse is the act of marriage – consummates – if slipped up; shameful – expected to marry the person – consummation had happened before initiation

Paul: solution to passion is marriage – urges active sex life – short down time by mutual decision – very positive

But many don’t believe Bible – say ‘waiting doesn’t make sense, you need to experience various partners’

Does it make sense to wait?

(Bible teaching to apologetics)

If choosing a marriage partner who would you trust more – someone who had sex with 20 or someone who has waited for you? Definitely the one who waited! What reason do you have to believe someone who has slept with 20 will suddenly stick to one? – This is the reason everybody prefers to marry a virgin

Bosses often employ someone with experience – but even a boss doesn’t want a wife experienced in bed or marriage – this may offend – but let’s be humble and admit it – virgins are a lot more trustworthy!

When two virgins experience sex on their wedding night it cements the relationship like nothing else, why? Because it’s something very intimate only they have in common

That’s what sex is supposed to do – cement a covenant – but if you’ve shared the glue with 20 – how strong is that glue?

People who advocate sex before marriage overplay the disasters of wedding night

Yes you don’t know what you’re doing – learn / mess up / laugh together – about being one. When drawing on past partner experience you’re not being one

Staying a virgin will not mean losing out on marriage – but it could save you from having to marry the wrong person – virgins are in demand

Now days most mess up before marriage – God forgives – move on – make the best of situation – but if still a virgin do the right thing – if you messed up, don’t let it be an excuse to become loose – looseness won’t help you or anyone you’re with

Bottom line – sex before marriage contributes to marriage breakdown – it weakens marriage before you begin – and the more sex before marriage, the less likely you’ll ever be able to bind to someone

Only exception is when God radically changes you inside by rebirth / repentance – that miracle reboots you

Does it make sense to wait – you bet!

Finally be careful of what you believe

Don’t change beliefs to justify a loose lifestyle!

Just because you mess up in action doesn’t mean you should mess up in doctrine!

Be aware that people who know their Bibles also change their doctrine to justify their looseness!

What’s the difference between a deceived believer and false teacher? – deceived believer only deceives self – a false teacher deceives others –

For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires (lusts), they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear (2 Ti 4.3)

If you hear a believer justifying sex before marriage in a corner – urging you to do the same – take note of that person and avoid them – report them – Paul teaches this

We’ve dealt with Why Marry and Why Wait – Because both make sense and are God’s way

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